Why Don't Boys Like Me?

Featuring the lovely Cassandra. Also the names have been changed apart from ours cause we kinda want pedophiles in our life #somethingtodo.  The boys names have been changed obvs cause otherwise they would think we were weird #weare.

Courtney, should we be lesbians?

Yeah, why not?

I mean, what else is there left for us?

Yeah, sometimes I cry alone in my room listening to Why Don't You Love Me.

Beyonce?

Obvs.

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I mean, I think I'm in love with him.

You're not in love with him. You're in love with the idea of him. You're like a f*cking Romeo, minus the DiCaprio.

I had a dream where I was f*cking him in a wheelchair. Does that not scream #truelove?

It screams I'm on the verge of a mental breakdown.

Whatever. Should I message him?

I think that kinda sends out the "I've been thinking of you this entire time why aren't we friends did I mention I love you I made a shrine dedicated to you hey how are you?" signal.

So no?

No.

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Why do the wrong boys always like me? Like why cant a nice boy who is cute, skinny, f*cked up and angsty just want to have aggressive sex with me already?

Did you check ebay?

Duh.

Well, then I have no advice.

Like, boys are nicer to me and I can become friends with them but they never want to kiss my face, and girls hate me because, I dunno, they think I'm weird or a bitch or gonna steal their boyfriend or have herpes.

Which you do.

Shut up.

So, lesbians?

Yeah.

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I think I might kill myself. There's this eighteenth party on later and literally like four guys that I've hooked up with are gonna be there. 

Wow. Try going to a party where a guy who you asked if he wanted to f*ck and then he turned you down and then hit on your friend, was there.

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So, continue.

Well, I think I might fall in love with Ryan again.

Um... weren't we just talking about how you wanted to f*ck a disabled Xavier? 

No. He just happened to be disabled.

Oh. My mistake.

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I really think we need to get you a boyfriend, that way you can stop obsessing over relationships that you've formed in your mind and obsess over a real one, with a penis.

Ew.

I know. I think I scare boys sometimes. 

Yeah, you scare me..

Hey

Um, did you just hang up on me?

No, my dad took the phone away from me.

Ugh I hate that.

Yeah. You know I wish I could leave my family. Forever.

You could live with me. But not in my room. I need my personal space. You could sleep on the veranda outside my room and watch me watch porn through the window.

Thanks.

Thats what Im here for.

If I was with Xavier-

Which youre not. 

Yeah but if I was, I would seriously move in with him

Yeah but what about the ugly morning face? Ew and morning breath? And your fringe would be curly. Ew.

No I wouldn't even care, I just want his company.

Thats the most poetic thing I've ever heard you say.

F*ck off.

I dont think I like Adam anymore.

Dude its been like what, a week?

At first his nerdy behavior was cute, and like, 'aw you have feelings', but now its f*cking annoying. Like grow up and be a man. God.

Boring.

Why arent boys perfect?

Like us?

Why dont boys like me?

I think we should become lesbian lovers.

I dont think you can just 'become' a lesbian.

Well, we can try.

Okay.

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Why don't boys like me?