The three worst kinds of feelings in the world, apart from an STD

The most pathetic position in the world: the fetal position

Have you ever done anything really embarrassing? So embarrassing that you wanted to curl up in the fetal position in the corner with a paper bag over your head while your period seeps all over the floor while crying because all of your dignity is long gone anyway? Who hasn't been there? Honestly. Embarrassment is one of the worst kinds of feelings anyone could ever feel apart from physical torture or some form of STD.

I have taken it upon myself to list the three worst kinds of feelings which are as follows:

1. Text regret

The absolute worst. Its terrible. You send a really sexy text to a guy and it just ends up sounding creepy or you have syphilis. Drunk texts are kind of maybe more acceptable than sober embarrassing texts. My friend Alexia drunk texted this guy asking if he wanted to go ice skating as a date. She was shut down so badly. Those are the kinds of drunk texts that she sends. Perfect grammar, sort of rational and really lame and awkward for everyone involved. My drunk texts are so much worse. I turn into this blubbering, scared, horny mess that no one really wants to associate with.

"ohMy gosh. i feeL lik if i don't see you im goingto stop breAthing i actuallylove you so much and im sorrY for everyThing i wanT yuo so baddddddd."

"Okay."

2. Party dread

You know when you're getting ready to go out and you want to die? Its universally acknowledged that the best part of going out is getting ready. The parties normally suck butt and its such a waste of a good outfit. Its when you're driving there that blows. Enough about that cause I can't really think of anything else to write so heres a picture of a young Brad Pitt to distract you.

3. Public embarrassment

It so sucks when it happens to you but its so f*cking hilarious when it happens to someone else. So what if you're a bad person because you laugh at other peoples expenses? Its so worth it. We were at this party and there was a jumping castle. Cassie and I were talking to these two guys and they thought it would be hilarious to pick us up and throw us on the jumping castle. There were other people on there so basically it turned into a massive (partially) clothed orgy. My butt landed on Cassies face and she started laughing, like hysterically. She was lying on this other guy and she screams out,
"Oh my god! I spilt my drink!"

Whatever. We get up. She pulls me into the bathroom and swears me to secrecy. So naturally I tell all our friends and now, the internet.

She was laughing so hard when my cute butt landed on her that she had peed her pants. "Just a little bit." and then obvs peed onto the guy she was lying on. The only thing that I got out of that was that she had peed on someone before I had, even if it wasn't in a sexual way. #embarrassingforherlolz.