He's so perfect I want to throw up

Oh god he's so perfect I want to throw up. He's so awkward and sexy. Oh my god. I just want to bite him. I make some awkward comment about how the box of tissues next to his bed is really seedy. He doesn't get it. Never mind. His Misfits poster is wonky next to his Iron Maiden poster. He says he's nervous. Why? I kinda love you.

 

I was named after Courtney Love, I say for the billionth time, hoping he'll think I'm cool. 

He thinks I'm cool.

We're sitting awkwardly on the couch. I feel like I'm in year seven. We're watching some bands video diary. I try and picture him masturbating. I can't, which is weird. I wonder what kind of porn he watches. We talk and laugh and I feel sad cause I can't tell if he likes me or not.

The film finishes and were bored. So bored.

What do you wanna do?

I dunno, what do you wanna do?

I dunno... f*ck me? Please. Come on, it wont be that bad. Please, I wont talk during. Please f*ck me.

He starts to play his guitar. Oh my god. I think I just came. No, I can't deal with this. I'm lying on his bed biting my bottom lip, half because I do it when I get turned on, and half because I think it makes me look smoulderingly sexy. I just made that word up. He makes weird sex faces when he plays and keeps on glancing at me to see if I'm interested. I am so interested. His eyes are a really nice brown. Brown to match his hair and our children's eyes.

We walk down to the beach and there are shops around. We link arms (!) because we're cold. I can tell he likes it, and the awkward physical contact stage is over. We laugh about how retarded Sid Vicious is and how elitist his school is. We go into a guitar shop and I make him buy some guitar picks cause he says he always loses them. It's so windy so we go into the supermarket for something to do. We look like we're about to steal something, so we leave. We walk down to the beach and he stands up on his toes to shield my hair from the wind #truelove.

We find a 'rape bush' and I rape him. I wish. We go inside the tree that has been molded into a mushroom shape by the wind and climb the tree, which is really difficult seeing as we're both in tight black jeans. We sit there for a bit and he bites a bit of the branch.

Ew. Its salty.

Must be all the semen from the numerous rapes that occur in here.

Gross. 

I love you.

I get stuck in the tree and he starts laughing at me. 

Shut up.

I'm sorry. Okay jump down and I'll catch you.

Are you sure you'll be able to support me?

Are you questioning my masculinity?

Maybe.

He gives me a piggy back ride and starts to run really fast. Its terrifying. 

Adam! Stop oh my god. 

I do up his shirt  to look like Britney Spears. 

You look so sexy.

Yeah but my snail trail is pathetic. 

No it's not, I like it.

...

...

He gives me a tour of the 'hoodest part of his 'hood' There were just a couple of tags and maybe a crate tipped over in an alleyway. Clearly he's never been to Mulgrave before. 

He's jumping up and down and stretching. He's nervous again. 

I had fun today.

Really? I was really worried that this whole time you've been thinking its so boring. 

No, I really did have fun.